Captain

Aggressive Ice Cream all over my face,
My tounge is licking all over the place.
Chocolate here, Vanillia there,
All over my bib, all over my high chair.

God damn plastic ball with that old man,
Mom, get me off this thing, if you can,
Crawling, crawling, where's some fun?
I'll get that ball before the day's done!

Why they laugh and hug and smile at me?
Don't they know I'm The One Point Four, and ready to score? 
Give me a shot in my Ethnic-sounding sippy cup.
Make it Big Bird juice, Dad, and Hurry Up!

Now where's my big sis? I'll piss her off good.
Well known in Backyardigan neighboorhood!
Not so fast: Heh, Heh, Heh!
I got her boppy and her doll, Pudghey!

Oh, why do Mom and Dad change my threads,
I said "all's cool", but they don't get it.
Then they squirt me with my infant meds,
 Getting me ready for bed.